Quotes

I keep this as a running list of quotes that I enjoy for reasons of humor, underlying truth or emotional impact. Unless a line has my name after it, I have no claim to the information other than having been the one to glean it from some other source. Since quotes are inherently plagiarized, I feel no need to credit any source other than the name to whom the quote is attributed.

Mark Twain:

I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.

Evan Esar:

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.

Charles Kuralt:

Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible to travel from coast to coast without seeing anything.

Ronald Reagan:

The best minds are not in government. If any were, business would hire them away.

James Branch Cabell:

There is not any memory with less satisfaction than the memory of some temptation we resisted.

Andrew Carnegie:

One of the serious obstacles to the improvement of our race is indiscriminate charity.

Samuel Johnson:

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.

Robert X. Cringely:

If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.

Arthur Schopenhauer:

Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see.

P. J. Plauger:

My definition of an expert in any field is a person who knows enough about what’s really going on to be scared.