Snowboarders

Two rants for you today…

1. (and some of you have heard this before) I think it is wise to keep a list of people you want to kill. This is true even if you are not a generally violent person. The logic here is that if you are driven insane at some point in life, it would be good to have a list to fall back on. People think this is bad, and worry that you’d kill them, but I’d say those around you have a much better chance of dying if you just started killing randomly or by proximity rather than systematically off a list. Granted, most people will never use this list, but I think it’s a good backup.

2. Snowboarding in the Olympics.

I am not opposed to the general idea of sports on snowboards, it’s more the faux athletes. Consider snowboard racing – the timed, through gates kind. Those guys wear speed suits just like the skiers, practice their sport and do everything they can to get better and faster. Consider moguls – people invent new stunts just to define themselves within the limits of the sport.

Now consider the half-pipe and snowboard cross. To me, their stunts look rather unoriginal – maybe difficult to do, but nothing special. Secondly, they all wear baggy clothes. Now, I’m not saying I really need to see more guys in spandex, but if you’re in a race of sorts it would seem wise. This is particularly applicable in the snowboard cross – it’s a rance, and you’re wearing a parachute. I think it could be semi-useful in pipe also as more speed = more height = more time = better stunts.

Now, for the attitude of the participants. The people in most all other sports are fairly serious in their commitment to the sport. Snowboarders, with the exception of the racers, seem to be more interested in looking punk and keeping their street cred. It comes off looking like this isn’t really a sport which they practice and care about, but rather what they do in their back yard between skipping out of class and smoking their next joint. Whether this is simply an appearance, or really the case could be debated, but even if it not the case, they try damn hard to make it appear to be.

My hope for the sports in general is that some foreign countries, where people consider the Olympics to be about competition rather than appearance and an extension of the x-games, someone decides that despite popularity, they will wear a GS style suit and truly attempt to be better than everyone else in snowboard cross and/or halfpipe. I hope they then go on to deliver a severe mollywhopping to the rest of the field. This would force the other participants to recognize that they have to take things seriously, and that the sport is more than just them dicking off in front of cameras.

If you disagree with the snowboarding comments, make sure it’s not just because you are a kiddy skateboarder at heart and that you actually think about what I said.

Now go watch the Olympics damn it.